Rock climbing has long been my number one passion. However, I have been through some interesting stages with climbing. When I first began, it was intense, true love. I wanted to spend as much time as possible climbing and I always left a climbing outing with a sense of exhilaration and the desire to go again soon.
After some falls and injuries, I still wanted to go climbing but, when I went, I couldn't get to that same level of enjoyment, as I was often inhibited by fear. I wanted to experience again the freedom and fun of rock climbing, with enough attention paid to safety but without the irrational panicky fear.
Then I got pregnant and entered yet another stage. I continued to climb while pregnant but had to take it easy. Truthfully, I really enjoyed the 10 months of top-roping and never leading a climb. The fear was gone and I just enjoyed the movements of climbing, even if a bit awkward reaching around my basketball stomach!
After K came, I returned to climbing as often as possible. The fact is, however, that 'as often as possible' is just not that often. We live far from a gym, which would be our best option due to having a little one and the portion of the year that it is too wet to climb outside (most of 9 months). There is only one crag near us that is good for toddlers and I hate the climbing there, as the rock is slippery and slimy. Climbing is much more enjoyable when you can do it often. If you don't go that often, you spend inordinate amounts of time in a state of fear and frustration over moves you cannot pull, strength you don't have, routes you cannot finish.
I have battled with this point in my head for some time now, even before having a kiddo, and have now come to a 'conclusion' of sorts. I am going to keep climbing whenever I can. We will take family outings to the slimy crag, where I at least enjoy the fact that I am outside and touching rock. I will get a sitter now and then during the summer months to go climbing on my own and/or with my favorite climbing partner, my hubby. We will go to the gym every so often too, maybe 3-4 times a year. Here is the conclusion part: I will accept that this is a stage in my life and remind myself that it will change. There will be a time, maybe, when K is interested in climbing too. We can all go as a family and challenge one another on hard routes. K might even be our 'rope gun', leading up the harder routes I want to climb but don't want to lead. Or maybe he'll hate it and prefer to do something else but, the time will come when I can climb again, more frequently and regularly enough to enjoy it more.
As I was sharing this with my husband, he thought I was being melodramatic and 'giving up'. I don't see this as 'giving up' something I love, but rather, 'letting go' for a period. Otherwise, I think I will feel frustrated much of the time, trying to force something that doesn't fit well. It seems wiser to me to recognize and accept the stage I'm in, what works, and what doesn't.
Anyone have a similar experience with a hobby/sport and parenthood? Share in the comments...
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